I need a holiday to get over the holiday

So, we had 2 weeks off. The 1st week we went to Chessington which was good (and got free tickets when we left as a couple of the rides had been out of action), and to the Dr who exhibition in Cardiff, which was also good (if a little small).

Then, it was off to Cornwall. The first few days were good. It was Jessi's 10th birthday so she and Ele went horseriding. This is where we found out Jessi is allergic to horses and her eyes swelled up so much she couldn't see. It went down completely after a couple of days though, after she was dosed up with anti-histamines. We visited a couple of places, went to my Uncle's for a BBQ (we were staying about a mile from his house). The place we stayed at was Ok. not as nice as the one we stayed at in April (it's owned by the same company), but Ok nonetheless. I'd have been annoyed if we'd paid £1000 for it, but for £200 it was fine.

Then, disaster! On Friday, the day before we were due to leave, we went to a place called Woodlands in Devon. It's all big water-slides you ride in an inflatable dinghy and other rides and stuff. A good day out. Then we get in the car to drive home. About a mile down the road the car starts making nasty noises when I turn the steering wheel. Then I notice the traction control light flickering almost constantly. This results in a loss of power every now and then as the computer presumably thinks the wheels are spinning. I try turning off the traction control but it makes no difference.

We limp to the nearest petrol station and call Mitsubishi Assistance Program (hereafter known as MAP), which is provided with the car. The people I speak to are great and arrange for a local firm to come to us. We discuss the best course of action for getting us home, as we are leaving the next day. One option was to be towed all the way home, but we didn't really fancy having Joe & Jess in a recovery truck for 5 hours! So they said we could have a hire car and our car could be fixed in Torquay and delivered back to us. We agree this is a good plan. The guy comes in his recovery truck, a very nice man (no, not from the AA!). We were initially told it could be 2 hours (after we'd already waited an hour) as they were really busy, but I pointed out the kids and they got to us fairly quickly. He takes us and the car to Totnes, where they will store the car overnight at their depot before taking it to Torquay in the morning. We get a taxi from Totnes back to Honicombe Manor, about an hour away. This is a £65 taxi ride (covered by MAP). I call MAP when we get back there and they say that they are requesting an MPV or an estate car from Enterprise rent-a-car and that Enterprise will call me in the morning and that I should have a car by 10am. This is good, as it's the time we are supposed to leave.

This is where it really goes pear-shaped. At about 8:30 I get a call from Enterprise saying they're trying to track down an MPV. I say again a big estate car would also be Ok. The main point is we've got a LOT of luggage and it HAS to be a big car.

They go away and a bit later I get a call from someone saying they've found something in Newton Abbot (about an hour and a half away). I say this is too far, and surely there must be something in Plymouth. I don't actually know what type of car this was anyway. An hour passes and I get a call from another firm, who Enterprise have now outsourced to. They are offerring a Focus. I say this is too small. Luckily the nice lady at reception at Honicombe Manor has let us stay a bit longer as it's not being let again that day. She even said she'd reserve it for the next day for us incase we get really stuck.

A bit later I get a call from a nice lady from yet another firm who says they have plenty of MPVs. She takes all my details, even gets the DVLA on the line to confirm I have a driving licence (as it's at home!) and promises a call back from her central reservations soon as she's marked it as urgent. It all sounds good.

But then an hour and a half passes. I didn't get her number and it came through as "Unknown Number" on the mobile so I couldn't call back. Eventually we get another call from Enterprise. I ask what happened to the woman and the MPV. He says she was mistaken and they aren't available until Monday. But, he says, they've found a car. A Corsa. I carefully explain we have enough luggage to fill the boot of a large MPV. He says, quote: "It's one of the new Corsas sir, they're quite big." Not that big you idiot!!! I say it's not good enough we need a bigger car. He says it's the only car available. I ask if he is actually suggesting this is the only car available for hire in the whole of Cornwall and Devon. He says it is. I get his managers number and hang up. I call MAP back to say that Enterprise are being very unhelpful and can they please do something about it. Shortly after, a lady from MAP rings me back saying there is nothing they can do, the only option is the Corsa, or wait until Monday! I say this is not good enough, they are not doing their job, they are breaching the terms of their policy etc etc. She puts me on hold for five minutes, comes back and says the same thing. I demand to speak to the manager.

So, the manager comes on the line. Immediately, I can tell he is one of those annoying, smarmy bastards who only seem to exist in this type of job. His opening words were "Yes, sir, is there a problem?" That really riled me up. I asked him if he had been told the story, to which he said yes. "So you know there's a problem" I said.

Why couldn't he come on the line and say "Hello, sir, I understand you're in a tricky situation. What can I do to help?" He was a real git and not interested in sorting anything out. "Well you turned down a car from Newton Abbott, sir. You should've taken that." If I'd realised how useless you all were I might have taken it! "You'll have to stay until Monday, sir". No, I've got work and the kids have got school (Ok, they haven't, but he didn't need to know that). "You can get a train, sir". Are you a complete idiot? With our luggage?

Once again I say you are breaking the terms of the contract ("It's a policy sir, not a contract") and that you are obligated to get me a car. So he says, and this is the best bit, that as it's now 2pm, all the hire car firms are closed until Monday. ARGHH!! I've been on the bloody phone since 8:30am speaking to incompent people and now I'm stuck in Cornwall with no where to stay (or so I told him, I could've stayed in the place, or even at my Uncles if it really came to it), and no way to get home.

"Sorry, sir, but I can't magic up a car from nowhere." I don't care where you magic it up from just get me a damn car. He then said the only hire places open are at international airports, and that means Bristol (2 hours drive away). I suggest he gets onto them immediately and sort something out.

Ten minutes later I get another call from Enterprise who have booked us a Vauxhall Vectra Estate, via Europcar at Bristol Airport. I say fine and we ring for a taxi to take us and our luggage to Bristol Airport. I don't hear back from the manager again, by the way. He didn't even call to say it was sorted or anything and were we Ok?

We track down a big enough Taxi to fit us and our luggage, and at about 4pm we set off to Bristol Airport. There's mega-jams on the A30 so we go accross Dartmoor, which was so foggy you couldn't see 5 feet either side of the road. We eventually arrive at Bristol Airport at about 6:45 and £160 lighter (MAP will cover this as well, though).

I go in and indeed our reservation is there. As he's dealing with it I look at the keys and notice the keyring says "Astra" on it. I ask if it's an Astra. He says yes it's an Astra Estate. I say that I booked a Vectra Estate. The guy says they don't even have Vectra Estates on their fleet! So the stupid Enterprise guy lied to me as well!

We ask if they have anything bigger (they were both South African guys so Ele got on with them!) and they found us a Zafira, which we took. We just squeezed everything in, although you couldn't see out the back and the back-seat was stuffed full as well. Ele had to drive as I didn't have my licence on me. Well, she drove half the way, then I took over anyway as she was too tired to drive any more. Fortunately from Bristol it's only a couple of hours drive.

We eventually got home at 11pm.

And then this morning the battery on the Seat was flat so I had to jump it, then I dropped it off at the garage for a service. They just called to say it's done, along with the brake fluid service that I specifically said "Don't do cos it's too expensive". So I don't know what will happen now with that!

Latest on the Mitsubishi is that they've run the diagnostic thing on it and it has all sorts of faults (ABS, steerings, wheels etc etc) and they can't look at it until Tuesday next week to find out what's wrong. I'm now onto Mitsubishi CS to see if they can recover it to our local dealer in case they can look at it sooner. I'm also trying to get the Zafira hire extended as it was only for 3 days and it runs out today.

What a way to end a holiday! Plus it looks like we'll have to cancel the Foxhunt for next weekend which is a real shame. I think we'll still meet for a BBQ, but I feel really guilty about letting everyone down as many people have been looking forward to it.

That's all for now - the worlds longest blog entry!

-Neil